many things I'd like to change

There are many things i wish i could change, one money, and i'd like to have some, two my mentalitity and the way i look at things. Sometimes i just let my thoughts consume me and im just an empty shell of a person sooo deep in thought and my own brain i have no idea whats going on a round me. and i hang on to stupid stuff that happens. I always expect that the worse will hapen when it comes to men and confrentation, but yet im optimistic for the future. How do i do it? i have no clue. ugh!! now i know why people drink. lol

I've got an odd feeling

So I'm having such mixed emotions right now, almost like I cant decide if I am happy or sad. And seriously what a stupid way to feel right? I know. But thats half the problem. I dont know, maybe it isnt and Im just being stupid. I have this odd sence of strenght like I need to make some choices in my life, and I know Im going to and whatever they are my decision will be definate. But at the same time I have this feeling of weakness, and not knowing what is going to happen. I know walt and I are kind of in a weird funk right now. Like he makes choices and does waht he wants to do.. And I feel like I'm always sitting around waiting for him to make his choices. And now I have this new sence of well IM not waiting around anymore. Im going to start making decisions for myself and my life. And I feel like there is this invisible wall between him and I like instead of joining our lives together, he still just sees his life as him not ours.. but isnt that what marriage is? joining your lives together? Becoming one.. Nt one person obviously, but one life, where the other person is the most important to you and the faily you create is most important. Im not sure if any of this makes sence. But it is how I feel. And he probably feels this way too sometimes...

Worn out

Seriously, Im worn out today. I have very little patiences today.. Im hungry and we have no food in the house. And I'd love to go get some, but Andrew is being very active today.. He's crawled out of his walker already, been all over the house trying to get into everything... won't nap lol. This is the difficult stage, and Im sure it is only going to get harder. The only reason I have a second now is because he is sitting in his bouncey seat which he hasn't figured out how to crawl out of yet and he is eating little puffs. Thank goodness for that bouncey set!!

Andrew's First Halloween

So after the doctors, target, and hanging out at home, Walt Drew and I went to the celtic for a pint. Well I had a pint walt had 2 lol, and Andrew went as a little pumpkin. There really isnt much to do with a 9 month old for holidays, except go out and do what we want with him. But it was fun, then we went to visit Lennon who dressed as spiderman, and bob, and hang out there for a while. After that we came home. It was fun. And Andrew always has fun where ever he is, so it was a good night.