goals

oh and i just realized because its Halloween that this is the time i start my christmas shopping. Because I figure if I tick at it little by little make my list and start early it wont seem like i spend as much money and I can relax and enjoy the holidays. I plan on having it all done by thanksgiving or the first week in dec. So Im starting now. LOL. And target is a great place to start. They have great sales on picture frames which is always a great gift for pepole who you have no idea what to get. People love pictures and frames. At least my family does. lol. So im starting now. go me. lol.

halloween doctors visit

ANdrew had his nine month check up today, and no shots this time. Which is good because I think Drew is starting to hate his doctor. I was getting him ready today, and talking to him while dressing him, saying "Andrew want to be a big boy and see how much you've grown and go to the doctors with mommy?" And he started smiling and shaking his head no. lol. So I asked him again, "do you want to go for a ride to the doctors with me?" Same response. Shaking the head no while smiling and laughing. Then came the bargining, Drew do you want to go with mommy and then get a new toy? And he started doinghis little uh huh. So cute. then he started waving bye bye. lol. So we went, and he is now 27 lbs strong and healthy. He has 6 teeth, says dada mama baba dog boob and boobie. lol he crawls, pulls himself up walks holding on to stuff.. growing way too quick.
After the doctors appt we went to target, I got halloween candy for the trick or treaters and I bought him his first 9 month old toy. Because as of today he is 9 months old. Its this little car you can push or ride. And it was pretty cheap. ANd at first he just sat and looked at it. The he pulled himself up on it and stared running. lol My little boy is such a mover. I can say this, im soo happy he's developing and becoming more independent, but i miss the dependent little guy. Im mean he can feed himself when he isnt nursing. He eats the little puffs, all by himself, and when he's eating other solid foods like peas carrots sweet potato and whatnot he takes the spoon from me and puts it right in his mouth. Sometimes he misses, but what do you expext hes 9 months old. He is truely my little sunshine. He is always soo happy laughing smiling, he wakes up smiling saying one of his words and trying to mimick our vocabulary. Seriously I was definately given a tremendous girt. Never a burden. Sure I miss out on stuff, like band camp this year and last, but its worth it. lol
Anyways happy halloween!

Birthdays

Such a good and bad thing. You get extra attention, but sometimes depending on circumstances these days can be forgotten. Well today is my moms birthday. Happy birthday mom. I painted her a picture, and I think she will like it. My mom is the type of person who tries hard not to be materialistic, but deep down we all are in some way. But unfortunately I am not wealthy and cannot buy her what I would like to. So its a painting for her, that took time and talent. :) I hope she likes it.
I love being up here. And I really think Andrew does too. He is usually so sweaty, but the past week besides tired crankiness, he has been soo happy and funny. I wish we didnt have to leave. Oh and walt and I went to town hall to look at there licensing dept to see what he would have to do to work here and guess what? He needs nothing! All he needs is the work. They dont require licensing here. He can pay 40$ every four years to be advertised as a flooring man or handy man or whatever. Another plus for cape cod!

Cold Weather Rocks

I love fall. Having never experienced it before I love it now. The leaves are turning and you get to wear coats and sweaters. Oh and the second you walk outside you don't imediately sweat. I love it.. And my sister and mom are here. Now I dont know how much I'd like to live with my mom so I really think I need to figure out how to be up here more independently. I wish we had lots of money. I want so badly to just be able to live in this "great nation" without worrying so much about war and crap. Oh well...

busy busy

So the last few days have been extremely hectic. Walts other boys are down, and of course means more action than normal. And Andrew doesnt care for matt. I think its because Matt gets up in his face and Andrew likes his space.. Anyways Matt will shove his face in drews and Andrew punches him as hard as he can. Kinda Funny.
And we switched realtors. We are now with weichert. And I had to clean the house by myself while matt and jeff and walt sat and watched. Did I mention I am sick... ugh busy busy...

tmj

So apparently I have a form of tmj. On occasion my jaw will dislocate if i open it wider than like two fingers width. And it hurts really bad.. sucks. And when I clench my jaw the muscles in there are seriously harder than steel.. you cant even push the muscle in.. it isnt squishy. lol. And from that I get frequent head aches all along the side of my face and jaw, behind my eyes ears and down my neck. Its really painfull. But unfortunately we dont have insurance, So it will continue to feel this way until we have money and I can get it fixed... I dont even know how to fix it, it isnt from grinding my teeth I think its from clenching my jaw. When Im mad and trying not to explode I clench my jaw...
On a happier note Andrew Walt and I are heading up to MA next week for about a week. It will be fun. And cool... I cant wait.

suprised

I've been doing alot of thinking about life and all and about my life my friends lives and how lucky I am to have the people in my life... And I realized I love being a mom.. well I realized it all over again.. and I think I want to try to have a girl. But Im not discussing this with walt yet because Drew is only 8 months old and this could be part of my post pardom kicking in.. but once Ive decided if I'd really like to then I will talk about it with him..get his pros and cons. More than likely he will have all cons, but I don't know... maybe.

Can't think of a title...

So Andrew is cute... lol. He says mom mom mom mom... almost all day. And he recognizes what he is saying. He will say baba and reach for his bottle. And he looks at me and says mom he looks to the door and says dada. And knows walt is dada. He is such a cutie.

Disgusted

so my mom and dads divorce was finalized months ago and my mom is in MA, my dad is still down here, and the bastard has his stupid 28yr old crackhead nasty girlfriend living in the house. You can look her up at ccso.org. Just type in Somer under local arrest database. And her name is somer michele w something. She is nasty and young. My dad is almost 50. What the hell is he doing running around with a nasty crack head like that. And whats worse is shes living in our house. That whore probably only dreamt of living in a house like that, and there she is prancing around it. I hate her. I hate him. He hasnt seen andrew in months. He lives here and my older sister who lives in tampa has seen Andrew more. And this is his first grandchild. I seriously have no one here. I have walt... but like my family beyond him sucks... well they dont suck my mom and sisters are just not here. Im so lonely. And like this town has alot of bad memories... with the fighting between my mom and dad, now that nasty whore... and walt runs in to past "conquests" we live in his house he had with keisha.. i need a change. Im suffocating. I need a way out. I wish we were rich.